The month of May can very hard on mothers who have lost a child. So I thought to interview my wife to see what insight she would give to mothers who are new to grieving or for those who have a hard time coping with Mother’s day.
Tim: So Mother’s day is coming up and I was wondering what advice you might have to the mothers out there who have lost a child? Especially for those who will be encountering Mother’s day for the first time or to those who are hit pretty hard with grief.
Sandra: Well, I remember when the first Mother’s day without Jenae was approaching. I dreaded the day coming. First of all, I had been feeling like part of my identity was lost. The feeling of loss hit me hard in being a mother who no longer had a daughter. Because Jenae was our only daughter, it left a great void in many ways.
Tim: What ways do you think the void was most evident?
Sandra: I didn’t’ have a daughter to do girl things with anymore. I felt disconnected from the families of Jenae’s friends, and had lost communication with them. When we did see them, they didn’t know what to say to me. I don’t blame them because it is very hard to know what to say to someone who has lost so deeply. A big part of it was that there wasn’t any reason for them to interface with me. This was because there were no more play dates or activities to coordinate with them any more.
Tim: What was the most helpful thing that helped you get through that first mothers day?
Sandra: I will never forget it, but my friend June who had lost a son a few years back was very helpful. She thought to make me a special mothers day pin to wear on Mother’s day. It had Jenae’s picture with a fancy trim and some shinny sequences. Jenae loved shinny sparkly things. June told me that she made me that pin so that I could keep Jenae close to my heart and as a special memorial. As a mother you never want your child to be forgotten.
Tim: How did that make you feel?
Sandra: I was emotional, but in a good way. It was such a blessing to hear someone mention Jenae’s name. That and the fact that someone remembered her and me on a day that was so difficult. I will always remember it. This uplifted my spirits and made the day more bearable. Also, prayers were a must. It is a good thing to ask others to pray for you when the grief is most heavy.
Tim: Having others pray for you is a double blessing. A blessing to you and also to the people who pray. This allows others to understand what you are going through and know how to help pray for you better. God blesses this in many ways.
Tim: Do you think we should make pins for mothers who are grieving with their child’s picture, like June made you? Not everyone has a good friend that would know to do this or would read this post.
Sandra: Every one is different, but yes. It could make a difference to many.
Announcement: In the month of May, we will be making photo pins like the one above for all mothers who would like one.
Please email a favorite photo of your child and your address to firstname.lastname@example.org and we will send you a pin to wear. We know how hard special occasions can be and want you to know that we care and hope to make the day easier to cope with. This along with prayer goes a long way. God bless, encourage, and comfort you.